Aspects of Functional Decision Making
Do you have problems with making decisions? Spending too much time, even on simple things, such as what to wear or what to eat? What is the most important decision you have had to make? Was it easy or did you experience struggle?
We are thinking, goal-oriented creatures. We constantly make decisions throughout the day and life on various issues. We always need to make a choice between various options, from simple ones such as what to wear or what to eat, to the most crucial life events like marriage, career, health issues and so on.
The style we use in making our decisions affect the results, thus it is important to be aware of how we think and what we think while we decide.
There are many factors which play important roles consciously or unconsciously in our thinking patterns, particularly when we need to choose among different options. Within these factors, for sure, our own upbringing has the biggest impact on our decisions.
Although we have constant interaction with our social circles, we evaluate external factors through our personality lenses that were shaped by our parents and childhood experiences. Therefore, some of us make decisions based on our emotions, by looking at previous examples and stories. Some people are rule-oriented and pay attention to principles and guides, again by looking at previous similar examples. However, some of us have a good sense of self-confidence and trust our own discretion.
On the other hand, people who have common sense pay more attention to information and consider publicly approved results as their decision-making style. For some people, their values and faith criteria are important and make decisions by considering them, especially for crucial life situations. Sometimes, short-term benefits appear to be more logical and some people jump to a conclusion without thinking of their future.
Depending on how much we internalize these styles, we develop either quick or slow decision-making patterns. People who have a quick style are more intuitive and they refer to their perceptions and memories immediately in the moment of making a decision. Those who are slower, though, are more deliberate, logical, and precautious.
It can also be a really hard issue, for some people, to make a decision. It may even be a heavy burden for them to make a choice and reach a conclusion, even for simple daily cases. They spend considerable time and energy to make their mind up. There may be various underlying factors that contribute to this difficulty;
Lack of self-confidence
One of the common reasons is a lack of self-confidence. Due to their upbringing or personality, such people hardly trust their own reasoning while making their decisions. They generally tend to rely on other people's opinions and seek help.
Lack of knowledge
When we do not have reliable information or enough knowledge about the issue we are struggling with, it is obviously difficult to decide. In such cases, all we need to do is to ask an expert or someone who had a similar experience.
Fear of loss
Some people may have a fear of losing what they have, and they are afraid of making a new choice. This may help them keep stability in their lives, while also making them miss an opportunity for growth and change.
Fear of making wrong decisions
Another fear that people may have is the failure of making the right choice. This feeling is slightly different from the fear of loss because when people make wrong decisions, they are worried that they may both have a dreadful result and/or may receive criticism.
One other reason may also be the stress of being in the situation of making a decision. It is interesting that some people may really not want to take the responsibility of making a decision and they try to avoid getting into such situations.
All these factors lead us to think about how to make functional decisions. First of all, making healthy decisions is related to practising a healthy way of life. Leading a healthy life, therefore helps us protect our brain functioning. For this, we need to
keep a healthy eating style, maintain good sleep hygiene, and do regular exercises.
avoid making decisions when we are too angry, too sad or too happy.
evaluate the pros and cons of the issue
check our own values and faith principles
search well for the required information
listen to your heart.
One thing we always need to keep in mind is that we are all human beings and we are prone to making mistakes.
So it is normal to make wrong decisions throughout our lives. Accepting ourselves and the decisions we made by standing behind them help us practice self-compassion. Instead of criticizing ourselves, we can affirm ourselves with positive statements such as “My intention was good”, “At least I tried my best……”. We can also think that there must be a pearl of wisdom behind it and search for other ways that we can benefit from our decision. Most importantly, we need to feel free to turn back from our decision - if possible - because it is also another opportunity to make a new decision. This is our life and we are responsible for it.